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How to Stay Motivated

January Started Out With a Bang, But Now it’s Fading:

You started off the frosty crisp new year with an ambitious list of goals for yourself. You’ve made a precise list of the things you want to change, the things you want to add, and the things that you want to explore. You are motivated, determined, and ready to take on that list of goals, full speed ahead. As days begin rolling by, you start seeing Valentine’s Day decorations popping up everywhere around you. This is a subtle reminder that February is coming to town. How did that happen, you ask yourself. You begin to re-evaluate your goals. You also ask yourself if you’ll have the gumption to continue with full force into the new month.

Can you carry your tenacious ambitions into the next month? Can you keep going? Is it realistic? In January you religiously followed the habits that you set and implemented to reach your goals. But you feel like you are barely keeping your head above water. Now doubt and excuses are starting to creeping into your daily thoughts. How can I keep this up?

Many people find “realistic” life, creeping in and getting ahead of their dreams of a better self. The vigor and ambition of January’s goals starts to fade just as fast as an equinox sunset. The question is no longer “can I do it?” but “is it really worth it?” And even if the answer is yes, life has a way of throwing its shenanigans and curve balls into the mix, just to test ones’ dedication. If commitment fades, often self loathing begins and feelings of failure overcome ones’ thoughts.

Motivation, Consistency, & Resiliency are the Keys:

Most people understand that consistency and resiliency are the keys to accomplishing goals. But equally important, is finding the motivation to keep moving forward.

So what is motivation really? Where does one find motivation? Why do we lose motivation? What are some ways that we can stay motivated?

Answering these very questions might be the key to staying motivated.

What is Motivation?

The Merriam Webster Dictionary defines the word motivated as: “having an incentive or a strong desire to do well or succeed in some pursuit“. Synonyms for the word motivation include: boost, encouragement, incentive, incitement, momentum, stimulus. Motivation is really just the gumption to keep going. It is the spirit that keeps an individuals moving forward in a chosen direction.

Where Does One Find Motivation?

Motivation comes from many different places. But for general categorization purposes, it comes from either internal or external forces. Studies have shown that internal motivation often lasts longer and makes an individual more likely to stick with ones’ goals. This is called intrinsic motivation.

External forces (extrinsic) can also be very motivating as well. The difference between the two is that extrinsic motivation often comes from either monetary or material rewards. Extrinsic motivation can also come from trying to avoid punishment or ridicule (ex: behaving a certain way to avoid conflict). The problem with extrinsic motivation is that it often fades once the external motivating factor is removed or attained. Intrinsic motivation rises from doing an activity because we find it internally rewarding. Ultimately, for most people, intrinsic motivation yields the most honest and personally rewarding results. Intrinsic motivation guides us to do what we truly want to do in life.

Think about a job that you hate. Even though you get paid to do the job, you probably wouldn’t show up if you were not rewarded externally (money). Now think about your hobbies. Why do you do them? Most people enjoy their hobbies because they get some type of internal gratification from the feelings that come from those activities. Hobbies are often done because of internal motivation. External factors (such as praise, money) are also motivating, however they are not generally the driving motivational force to do that hobby. Focusing too much on the external reward for doing a hobby can actually lead to a decrease in interest in that hobby. This is generally because the hobby starts to feel like it is an actual job. There is a freedom in doing something because we want to do it for internal gain, rather than having to do it for external gain.

So how do you develop internal/intrinsic motivation? The best way to develop internal/intrinsic motivation is to let the answers to the following three questions, guide your actions:

1. How do I want to feel?

2. What makes me feel happy?

3. What makes me feel alive?

Why Do We Lose Motivation?

We often lose our motivation because of one or more of these 8 reasons:

1. The result is not happening fast enough

2. The risk outweighs the benefit (time, money, effort, etc)

3. We don’t truly enjoy what we are doing in the moment

4. We come to a realization that it is not what we really wanted for our life; our goal has changed

5. Someone bursts out bubble

6. We are not ready for it

7. We are not truly prepared

8. We did not set a realistic timeline

How Do I Stay Motivated?

Look at the above reasons why we lose motivation and adjust accordingly. Sometimes it is not the goal that we necessarily need to change, instead the way that we get to the goal. Maybe a different, more realistic timeline needs to be set. Or maybe the goal needs to be adjusted or changed.

Whatever the reason for losing motivation, evaluating the 8 reasons above can actually help refocus and sharpen ones’ motivation. There are some questions that you need to ask yourself first though.

The title of this article is called “How” to stay motivated. If you are losing motivation then try this: take the word “How” or “Why” and insert it into the 8 reasons above. Turn those 8 reasons (why we lose motivation) into a question that either starts out with the word how or why. Start honestly asking yourself those questions.

1. Why did the results not happen fast enough

2. How does the risk outweigh the benefit

3. Why do we not enjoy what we are doing in the moment

4. How or why did our goal change

5. How did someone burst our bubble

6. How are we not ready for it

7. How are we not truly prepared

8. How did we not set a realistic timeline

Losing motivation? Answer these questions and adjust accordingly. In the end you will always do what you truly want to do, your actions will lead the way.

If your goal is to get an A+ on your next test, you need to plan out your daily habits and prepare for what you need to know. But once you have your plan set, how do you stay motivated?

When you are trying to find motivation, ask yourself some questions. In this case mentioned above, ask yourself: how do you enjoy studying? Do you enjoy studying with others? Does laughter help? When do you study best? Where do you like studying? What do you do really well when studying? Do you like what you are learning?

Another example, if your goal is to go to the gym five times a week, ask yourself: What are the immediate feelings you have when you go to the gym? Do you like the gym you attend? What is your purpose for going to the gym? Do you feel good after going to the gym? Do you enjoy physical activity but dislike being indoors? Is there some other kind of other physical activity that you enjoy more, that would give you the same benefits as going to the gym?

Humans are naturally drawn to instant gratification, however we often guilt ourselves into thinking that we shouldn’t have immediate gratification. It is almost as if somewhere along the way we have told ourselves that we should NOT enjoy things that are healthy for us (exercising, eating vegetables, studying, waking up early, etc). Instead, we focus so much on the reward down the road for “working hard”, that we forget to enjoy the immediate gratification that we get from doing these healthy activities. We tell ourselves that we go to the gym because our reward is that we will lose weight and look good, etc. We tell ourselves that our focus needs to be down the road instead of being present. However, remember the cliche saying “The present is our present”.

Instead of seeing the internal immediate reward in doing what we do, we often think that we need to reward ourselves externally. And unfortunately we often do it with things that are not  necessarily good for us (example: cheat meal, alcohol, partying).

I often have to remind my son that he needs to brush his teeth. He will sometimes ask me: “what do I get if I brush my teeth?” My response is always: you get a clean teeth, that is your reward. As we mature, we realize that things that once seemed so terrible, are actually healthy things that we can enjoy in the moment.

We have associated immediate gratification as something that is lazy, unmotivated, and or immature. The key is to start associating the immediate gratification that come from healthy habits, actions, and tasks. If we can immediately identify how things effect us either in a negative or positive way, we can determine if that thing is truly meant for us.

After doing anything, ask yourself how you feel about what you did or what was done. Do I feel happier after I did that? Does that make me feel alive? Will this continue to make me happy? Does this make me a better person? Is this what I want?

This is where motivation comes from and this is how motivation can last. By asking these questions, you can determine what you truly want in life. It is also ok to realize that goals and motivations change. Don’t be too hard on yourself, progress is progress. And as long as you are making moves forward, you are on the way to your better self. If you are struggling to find motivation ask yourself some of the questions from above, see what you find. And finally, don’t beat yourself up for losing motivation. It happens to everyone and sometimes it can be an indicator that something needs to change. Be kind to yourself.

REFERENCES:

1. Merriam Webster Dictionary “Motivated”
2. https://www.verywellmind.com/differences-between-extrinsic-and-intrinsic-motivation-2795384